Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
