No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
