How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
