CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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