have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
