dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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