i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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