Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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