"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
