I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
