An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
