Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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