I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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