You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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