He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
