he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Randomize
