I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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