So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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