He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
