doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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