how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
