How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Randomize
