I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
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He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
did you just send me my own nude
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My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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