I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
