I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
