is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
