I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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