oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
my poor anus
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
