at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
