I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
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