i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
