he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
