i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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