I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
