when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
