You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Randomize
