I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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