I puked a lego.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
