There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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