question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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