Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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