His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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