She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
