Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
