He is such a slut. More and more my type.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
