We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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