im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
