Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
