Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
