he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
