no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
