OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I am naked and annoyed.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
