And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
