so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
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