You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
