Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
