rhymes with "ouble enetration"
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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