Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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