Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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