Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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