So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
