who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize