she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
