We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
