I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
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