dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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