to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize
