Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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