I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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