a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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