Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
high people should be assigned attendants
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
